Sunday, September 12, 2010

Hooks-For-Hands Man, Part 2: "The Hook Identity"

This is a collection of posts from an experimental Twitter account, "InCaseOfHooks," which tell a long story over the course of hundreds of tweets. Stay up to date by following it at, or read the previous entry here.

  • In case of big "nooooo," beware of mad scientist escaping.
  • If mad scientist escapes, begin playing exciting chase-scene music.
  • In case of exciting chase-scene music, chase.
  • If chase leads to city streets, highjack motorcycle.
  • If opportunity to perform cool motorcycle stunt arises, perform cool motorcycle stunt.

  • If motorcycle stunt goes wrong, slowly walk away with back turned to motorcycle while it explodes behind you.
  • In case of motorcycle explosion, a fire may be started, so use rocket-hook to blast open a fire hydrant and douse anyone engulfed in flames.
  • If burning civilians are safely extinguished, be considered a hero.
  • In case of new-found fame, be photographed by spunky girl who has just gotten job at local paper and is eager to prove herself.
  • In case of photograph, strike a heroic pose.

  • If asked for name by small child, come up with something cool-sounding but with some sort of rocket-hook-hands-related pun.
  • In case of new designation as rocket-hook-handed hero, consider costume options.
  • If costume options seem too expensive, recall that you gave all of your money to that homeless man.
  • If homeless man refuses to return money, threaten to rocket-hook him.

  • If homeless man continues to refuse, even under threat of rocket-hooking, consider cheap costume such as white t-shirt with name written on it.
  • In case of interview by reporter, conceal secret identity to protect your elderly aunt who lives at home.
  • If tricked by clever reporter and secret identity is revealed, rocket-hook reporter to prevent story from getting out.
  • In case of sleepiness due to long day of rocket-hooking, return home and take nap.

Click here to read the next entry.

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