Monday, September 13, 2010

Hooks-For-Hands Man, Part 3: "Hook Harder"

This is a collection of posts from an experimental Twitter account, "InCaseOfHooks," which tell a long story over the course of hundreds of tweets. Stay up to date by following it at, or read the previous entry here.

  • In case of hunger and inability to manipulate microwave due to rocket-hook-hands, ask elderly aunt to cook food.
  • If convenience would be nice, hire an inventor to produce gadgets, starting with a phone that can be operated with hook-hands.
  • If inventor is okay with it, pay him to work as a butler too.
  • In case of call from mayor on newly-installed emergency hotline, put on t-shirt costume and prepare for heroics.
  • If no time to eat, ask aunt to place food in lunchbox so that it may be eaten later.

  • If crisis involves the return of that mad scientist who you met that one time a while ago, ominously refer to him as your arch-nemesis.
  • In case of plot by mad scientist to rob bank, go to bank and use hooks to hang from ceiling.
  • In case of mad scientist's arrival, drop from above and save day (use rocket-hooks if necessary).
  • If day is saved, offer pithy one liner such as variation on "I guess I got the drop on him," and attempt to work in a hook-related pun.

  • If things seem to go too easily, something must be wrong.
  • In case of something probably wrong, demand that mad scientist reveal what his real scheme is.
  • In case of mad scientist laughing maniacally, threaten a rocket-hooking unless he shuts up.
  • In case of big reveal that this bank job was a diversion and the real action is at City Hall, get to City Hall.
  • If there is time, stop to eat lunch along the way.

  • In case of City Hall being slowly frozen by a giant version of mad scientist's freeze ray, evacuate building and start giant fire to melt ice.
  • In case of giant fire getting out of control, use hook-hand-operable phone to call fire department.
  • In case of success, personally escort mad scientist to prison and offer another pithy one liner.
  • If everything seems okay, take another well-deserved nap.

Click here to read the next entry.

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