- In case of fire, break glass.
- In case of glass, cover head.
- If no hands to shield head with, seek immediate medical attention for lack of hands.
- In case of locked door obstructing route to hospital, locate hooks.
- If hooks found, use hooks as temporary hand replacements, and use hook-hands to open door.
- In case of high-five to celebrate success opening door, ask friend to consider danger of performing high-five with someone who has hook-hands.
- In case of friend not considering danger of high-five, causing hook-hand to slice off friend's hand, take turns sharing hook.
- If pain becomes unbearable, locate phone and call 911.
- In case hook-hands are too unwieldy to dial tiny buttons on phone, look for nearby hospitals.
- In case of no convenient hospitals, search back alleys for "alternative" medical expert.
- In case of back alley being home to an angry homeless man, use hook-hands to frighten him.
- If hook-hand plan backfires and causes homeless man to become enraged, use hook-hands to scale wall and climb away.
- If homeless man has his own hook-hands and follows, there is no escape.
- In case of no escape, admit defeat and give homeless man all of your available money.
- In case of no money for real medical care, ask around for cheapest doctor in area.
- In case of cheapest doctor being some sort of mad scientist, run.
- If shot by mad scientist's freeze ray, attempt to make your way back to burning building so that fire will melt the ice.
- In case of melting too much, allow scientist to reanimate melted remains as some sort of monster.
- In case of reanimation as some sort of monster, use opportunity to upgrade hook-hands to rocket-hook-hands.
- In case of new hooks for hands, incapacitate mad scientist and make a run for it.
- In case of lab-escape, beware of former friend who has also been reanimated as a rival monster.
- In case of appearance by reanimated friend, begin playing exciting fight-scene music.
- In case of exciting fight-scene music, begin fight-scene.
- In case of fight-scene, dodge ex-friend's rocket-hooks and attack with your own rocket-hooks.
- In case of victory, have flashbacks to fond memories of times spent with ex-friend.
- In case of flashbacks, consider meaninglessness of violence and form truce with friend.
- In case of truce, perform high-five.
- In case of friend again not considering danger of high-five and causing rocket-hook to blow up friend, fall to knees.
- If on knees, look to sky and shout "nooooo."
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