Saturday, August 20, 2011

Hooks-For-Hands Man, Part 6: "Some Like It Hooks"

This is a collection of posts from an experimental Twitter account, "InCaseOfHooks," which tell a long story over the course of hundreds of tweets. Stay up to date by following it at, or read the previous entry here.

  • If back in your present time, go back to investigating charred remains of your house.
  • In case of investigation of charred house, find a charred match.
  • If charred match found, bring it to crime lab so that science can be done at it.
  • If science is done successfully, find charred fingerprints on charred match.
  • If charred fingerprints found, then fire was work of local pyromaniac.
  • In case of pyromania, follow long trail of ashes across city.

  • In case of ashes leading to building with smoke coming out of the windows, you may be at the right place.
  • If at the right place, confront pyromaniac inside.
  • In case of confrontation, pyromaniac may attack you with fire.
  • In case of fire, break glass on pyromaniac's head.
  • If pyromaniac is physically stunned by glass attack, take opportunity to lecture him on fire safety.

  • If fire safety lecture goes on too long, pyromaniac may become bored and/or enraged.
  • If pyromaniac becomes enraged, he may leap at you.
  • If pyromaniac leaps at you, close your eyes, swing your hook-hands wildly, and hope for the best.
  • In case of best, hook swing may literally "disarm" pyromaniac.
  • In case of worst, disarmed pyromaniac may ignite and now have fire for hands.
  • In case of pyromaniac having fire for hands, get the hell out of there, because fire is a hook's natural predator.

Click here to read the next entry.

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