Sunday, June 12, 2011

Hooks-For-Hands Man, Part 5: "Hook To The Future"

This is a collection of posts from an experimental Twitter account, "InCaseOfHooks," which tell a long story over the course of hundreds of tweets. Stay up to date by following it at, or read the previous entry here.

  • In case of bad dreams involving fires, wake up from nap.
  • If woken up from nap, realize that you were dreaming of fires because your house is on fire.
  • If house is on fire, look for glass to break.
  • If no glass, turn on sink.
  • If sink begins spurting out fire instead of water, get out of your house because you’re pretty much screwed.
  • In case of standing across the street and watching house burn down, I’m sorry.

  • In case of apology from me, go downtown, because now you have nothing better to do.
  • If you do actually have something better to do, do that instead.
  • In case of claiming to have something better to do, you’re lying, because you’re homeless now.
  • If homeless, visit mad scientist in jail, and offer money for access to his time machine.
  • If using time machine, exit in the future.

  • In case of everyone having hooks for hands in the future, maybe you screwed something up by time traveling.
  • In case of screwing something up by time traveling, grab nearest hook-handed person and ask how everyone got hooks for hands.
  • If hook-handed person begins telling story, take a seat and listen intently.
  • If story starts with a fire and is told in 140-character bursts, you may be listening to a Twitter feed.

  • If you were not around to save the day (you were time traveling, remember?), the fire continued to spread.
  • In case of world-wide fire, people followed proper procedure.
  • If proper procedure was properly followed, everyone ended up with hooks for hands.
  • In case of a world filled with hook-handed people, use time machine to return to your present/their past.

Click here to read the next entry.

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