Friday, October 12, 2012

Hooks-For-Hands Man, Finale: "Hooks of Darkness"

This is a collection of posts from an experimental Twitter account, "InCaseOfHooks," which tell a long story over the course of hundreds of tweets. Stay up to date by following it at, or read the previous entry here.

  • If The Perfectionist hopes to become an acclaimed and prestigious director, he probably wants to erase all traces of his pulpy past.
  • If he wants to erase his past, he's probably planted the third bomb inside his giant mansion/shrine to the Hooks-For-Hands legacy.
  • If the wealthy part of town has quieted down again, you'll need a distraction to get inside.
  • If everyone's top hats now have locking chin-straps to prevent another top hat riot, you'll have to knock off someone's monocle instead.
  • In case of monocle riot, use it as a diversion to get into the mansion.

  • If The Perfectionist is ashamed of his past work, he's probably hiding all of it in a secret room somewhere.
  • If there's a secret room, it can probably be accessed by removing a certain book from a certain bookshelf.
  • If you find a library, knock over all of the bookshelves in the hopes of finding the one that acts as a key.
  • If the third bomb was just sitting in plain sight in the living room, defuse it while the butlers are cleaning up your mess in the library.
  • If three is a nice solid number, you must have defused all of the bombs and saved the city.
  • If city is saved, it's time to confront The Perfectionist.

  • If time for confrontation, have the Driver drive you to Neighborton.
  • In case of arrival in Neighborton, locate the set where they're shooting the indie romdramedy.
  • If 1990s Hooks-For-Hands Man is wearing a cumbersome and embarrassingly form-fitting motion-capture suit, easily defeat him in a fight.
  • If Spunky Photographer Girl is rescued, The Perfectionist may laugh while slowly rising from his director's chair and clapping menacingly.
  • In case of laugh, he may say that they've already finished shooting, and that the movie is sure to be a critically acclaimed masterpiece, ending the Hooks-For-Hands legacy forever.

  • In case of twist, Spunky Photography Girl may reveal that she's been secretly recording the entire disastrous making of this movie.
  • If the behind-the-scenes documentary has already been sent to several film festivals, The Perfectionist's movie will be a laughing stock.
  • If you've found flaws in The Perfectionist's scheme, he may run off, vowing to return once he's crafted the perfect plan.
  • If he returns one day, you may have to don the Hooks-For-Hands uniform once more—possibly in 3D.
  • But otherwise, take a well-deserved nap.

The End!

...for now?!

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