McSweeney's: This Standoff Has Gone On Long Enough

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We all knew it would end like this: you, the undercover cop, pointing your gun at him, the desperate criminal, pointing his gun at me, the guy who can’t remember whose side he’s on, pointing my gun at you.

Come on, my arm is getting tired. This standoff has gone on long enough.

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I got a second humor essay published on McSweeney's! You can read the rest of it here.

Want to read my first McSweeney's article? Read "I Dance Like I Have Two Left Feet" here.

Also, you can read lots of other humor essays here. Some of them were rejected by McSweeney's—perhaps for being too funny?!