Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Easy Money

Andy and Steven are two college-aged guys, playing billiards while making small talk.

Andy: "Man, I gotta get a job or something. I'm so low on cash right now."

Steven: "Why don't you just rob a bank?"

Andy: "Haha, right."

Steven: "No, seriously. I do it all the time."

Andy: "What? Rob banks?"

Steven: "Sure. Been doing it for years. I'm probably wanted in like a dozen states by now."

Andy: "I can't tell if you're joking or not."

Steven: "You should go rob the bank on 34th street. I just hit them up this morning, so they probably won't expect to be robbed twice in one day."

Andy: "This is crazy."

Steven: "...Yeah, you're right. They won't have that much money left, since I already cleared them out."

Andy: "The robbery that was all over the news last week... That was you?"

Steven: "I robbed at least three places last week. You need to be a bit more specific."

Andy: "I don't believe this. How can you rob banks?"

Steven: "With a ski-mask. You can borrow mine if you want."

Andy: "I'm not borrowing your ski mask."

Steven: "Then you'll at least need a getaway car. Do you have a car?"

Andy: "No."

Steven: "It's alright, there's a dealership a few blocks from here. You can just steal one of theirs."

Andy: "How do you expect me to steal a car?"
Steven: "With a gun."

Andy: "I don't have a gun."

Steven: "Steal one from a gun store."

Andy: "That's got to be the most dangerous possible place to steal something from."

Steven: "Good point. You should probably just buy the gun."

Andy: "I don't have the money!"

Steven: "So rob a ba–... hm... or blackmail somebody. That works too."

They stare at each other. Andy is seemingly in shock.

Andy: "...Um... Hm. Okay. I am going to leave and get a sandwich."

He begins walking towards the exit. Steven jumps up to follow him.

Steven: "Wait up while I grab my ski-mask."

Andy: "No! We are not robbing them!"

Steven: "Can I at least steal some chips?

Andy: "...Fine."

They exit.

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